What is a Stage Dude and why should I care??
One of the challenges facing professional stage production people, and believe me it happens almost every night, is the crowd of fans, drunks and professional losers who, at the end of each show, insist upon gathering at the barricade in front of the stage. Their needs range from wanting to express their undying love for the band to a desperate need for a guitar pick. The undying love people, pathetic though they may be, are not a big nuisance. On the other hand, the guitar pick scavengers are another story. They are usually drunk, stoned, insane or a nasty combination of the three. Their pitch is always the same. "HEY!!! ROADIE!!! THROW ME A PICK!!" Now understand, it's not the demand for a pick that sets my nerves on edge. It's the "HEY ROADIE!" that really grates on me.
 |
The term "Roadie" has always irritated me. I honestly can't remember one person in this business who actually calls themselves a roadie. The term has always been tossed around by the music press and the general public, in the mistaken belief that we actually considered ourselves to be "roadies". The general perception of a roadie has always been the stereotype wild-eyed stoner, who parties 24 hours a day, shows up wasted at stage call and generally behaved like a demented moron. Oh sure, there are plenty of those around, trying to get work, but they seldom get hired for a serious show. No one wants to be working on stage with some stoned moron who is likely to drop a speaker cabinet on top of you. People with nicknames like "Three Fingers", "Stumpy" or "Butter Fingers" are also to be avoided. Regardless what you may have read in Rolling Stone, we are actually a pretty sober bunch when we are on the job.
 |
So, why do I call myself a Stage Dude?? Well, it all came about one night at the end of a show. The crew was loading out the band's backline and I was assigning stagehands to various duties...lights, sound, pulling cable. The crowd at the barricade was particularly noisy and irritating. "HEY, ROADIE! CAN I COME BACKSTAGE?" "HEY, ROADIE! CAN I HAVE PICK?" Everyone was ignoring the plaintive howls of the Barricade Bozos, when one young kid yelled out, "HEY!! STAGE DUDE!! CAN I HAVE A PICK?" I froze in my tracks. Stage Dude?? I went over to the kid. "What did you say?", I asked. "Stage dude. Can I have a pick?", he replied meekly. I grabbed a handful of picks and handed them to him. "I like that...Stage Dude..can I use that?", I asked. "Sure thing dude!", he replied. Finally! A job description that doesn't sound lame or cliched!
So...there you have it! That is the true story of the term Stage Dude and how I came to be one. Why should you care? Well, you shouldn't. I don't care. I don't know anyone who does. But it's a cute story and it helped me fill up this page. So there you have it...move along now...there's nothing else to see around here!
